I-See 論壇 » 文學區 » 愛情小說區 » 我還喜歡你嗎?只怪情如流水`多少承諾不復回``

2008-8-28 06:43 PM Atlantics
我還喜歡你嗎?只怪情如流水`多少承諾不復回``

大家好`今次係本少第一作`
學校d人睇就睇得喇`
今次就試下p0上黎`
作得唔好多多指教呀``

"喂!起身喇!"
(下?!點解有呀賢把聲既?!我發緊夢???)
"起身喇!懶蟲"
(乜水呀你?"懶蟲"係你叫既咩?)
"去死啦你!嘈住哂!"
(你阻住本少訓覺呀)
[唔好誤會`本小說既主角係女仔黎嫁``]
[係呀婷見到佢個陣...]
(天呀`咁似呀賢既?!)
"望完未呀?"
(康:我都知咁靚仔係一年天大既錯事`但係我唔想嫁)
(等陣!佢係邊個黎嫁?)
"你係乜水呀`你點可以未經我批准就入黎嫁??你呀媽有冇教你唔可以坐人張床?"
"..."
(康:我應該講d乜野?)
"婷!"
"爺爺呀`呢條友乜水黎嫁?"
"尋日冇同你講呀康會黎長住咩?"
(有鬼!扮哂蟹!!)
"有d咁既事?!你記錯定我聽錯呀?"
"算啦...一樣姐..係我叫佢叫醒你嫁`一陣呀敏又打黎催你喇..."
"呀康會轉校去聖風4a班`對人好d呀`"
(爺:或者e+唔比你地知你地既關係`遲d先啦`但係我仲有冇咁既機會?)
[房間]
[相方你眼望我眼`沉默對持中...]
(兩人:咁靜既...我講定佢講?)
[呀康深明如果佢地再係咁"兩看相不厭"落去`真係會望到天荒地老都仲望緊`所以佢先打破沉默```]
"s0r`我為入你間房作出道歉``"
"算啦`我好大方既``"
"陳進康`叫我呀康得喇`"
(個名怪怪地既...)
"張凱婷`呀婷"
(康:個名咁斯文`都唔襯...)
"斃!幾點?!"
"8:30..."
(他呀媽有冇教你講野望人?我係隻錶度咩?)
"死喇`遲到喇!!!出去啦!換衫呀!"
(康"點解有一種觸電既feel?唔通...痴線!!!)
[3分鐘後...]
"ya!換完!"
("砰"一聲開門`點知...)
"哇!好痛呀!"
"下?!咩事?"
"你你你開門打到我個頭呀!"
(康:有冇破相?)
"s0r!冇心嫁..."
(康:但係有意...)
"趕時間呀`"
(唔理喇!!!衝呀!!)
"等陣!"
(康:呢句係我講既咩?)
"乜呀!"
"我可唔可以跟你去?"
(康:我點會咁講嫁?你痴線嫁!)
(你知我去邊咩?)
"去黎做乜?"
(佢呢個表情`我曾經熟悉...)
"悶丫..."
(康:you are crazy!!!!)
"..."
(去唔去好呢?可能連渣都冇b0...唔理喇!又唔係呀賢`死左都唔關我事啦`係你要嫁咋...到時屍骨無全`客死異鄉`命喪黃泉都唔好番黎搵我呀`)
[你咁好不負責任姐``]
"是但啦..."
(我都知咁係殘忍左d`不過你要4`我好好人咁成全你姐`咁都算做左件好事呀`古語有云:"自作孽`不可活"唔係我對你唔住呀``)
(康:咁好?!有冇陰謀呀?)
["以小人之心`度君子之腹"...]
ch1 完`

2008-8-29 01:05 AM nfs1995415
HI~
我係....
你知架啦~
好在我之前睇過!
唔駛日追夜追~
加油!
po多d啦^^

2008-8-29 06:10 PM Atlantics
[排球場]
“呀婷!你有冇攪錯`次次都遲到!有事早講啦!攪到全世界好似白痴咁等你們!”
(呢do叫潑婦罵街`小朋友唔好學呀!)
(康:哇哇叫我咁大個仔都係第一次見到靚女鬧人`原來香港d 女仔咁惡死…係加拿大都未見過`)
“s0r…”
(嘈夠未呀!你估我想嫁?)
“其實應該係我say s0r`係我叫佢等我既``”
(佢又幾好人b0)
“咁又唔好咁講`算啦`”
(康:轉得咁快既?!佢有雙重人格???)
(呀敏唔係呀`又有新目標???服左佢喇…但係點解有種心痛既感覺?痴線!佢又唔係呀賢`咁緊張做乜!佢地似樣姐``)
(敏:佢…咁似呀賢既?呢個場面…似曾相識…)
“係呀`都過左去咯``”
(個個都係咁`攪錯呀`)
“你叫…”
(敏:如果佢係呀賢就好喇!)
“陳進康``呀康`”
(康:唉`鬼叫我咁靚仔…罪過罪過…)
(敏:原來…唔係呀賢…又係既…佢冇可能番黎…)
(咁多女仔圍住`好爽啦你`)
“你有女朋友?”
(敏:既然當初得唔到呀賢`不如搵第二個啦``)
“暫時冇``”
(敏:好!我一定追到你!)
“我地交換電話呀!”
(康“咁主動?可惜我唔buy`)
“開波未呀!”
(唔得!佢太似呀賢喇!)
(康:佢呷醋?唔通…)
[唔知係咪佢火遮眼`一發球就黎個上手飄忽球`請呀敏做facial`]
“哎呀!”
(敏:呀婷攪乜呀?)
(我求先做乜呀?)
“s0r呀!”
“算啦!個波冇眼…繼續啦…呀康幫我睇下有冇損到…”
(當我冇到?)
[此刻猶如火上加油`直落3:0大勝`]
“康`你今日得唔得閒呀?”
(咁快?!)
(康:靚仔真一件錯事…)
“s0r`唔得閒…下次啦`”
(康:甩難…)
(我竟然慶幸佢既拒絕`)
“婷`陪我周圍行下`好耐冇番香港喇…”
(佢既語氣`好溫柔`好似呀賢…但係我呢世都冇可能見到佢…)
“你做咩喊呀?唔好喊啦`”
(康:死啦!我都未見過人喊`點算???)
(點解你咁似佢?點解…)
“我冇野…”
“咪死頂啦…想喊就喊啦`我借個膊頭比你咯`”
“你陪我去一個地方呀!”
[海灘]
“你帶我黎做乜?游水呀?冇帶泳褲w0”
(白眼)
“緊唔係啦!你係我第二個帶黎既男仔…”
(康:咁第一個係…)
(又諗番同呀賢一齊係呢度既回憶`e+每一幕都叫我心酸…)
[沉默中]
(康:會唔會靜左D呢…)
“玩水咯`”
(以前呀賢都好中意玩水嫁…)
“好呀!”
[水戰過後]
“哇…成身濕哂點番去?”
“驚咩姐`e+先12點`又咁曬`好快姐`”
“哦…你成日係度嫁?”
“嗯…我好中意呢度…”
“我諗呢度係我係香港最中意既地方…”
“哈!其實你咩國籍???”
“我係香港出世`但係父母係我7歲個陣移民加拿大`但係一直搵唔到出世紙…”
(搵唔到出世紙?!唔通…唔係唔係!佢7歲移民`邊有可能係香港讀??)
“係呢`你有冇孖生兄弟?”
“冇呀…我都唔知…聽仍地講13歲發高燒`攪到冇左大部分記憶…e+呢d 野都係佢地同我講嫁`”
(咩話?!13歲???唔岩唔岩`佢姓陳`呀賢姓梁`佢父母唔會改名換姓掛…)
“咁你番香港既?”
“我呀爺話有件超超超緊要既事要我做`叫我黎香港w0`佢一路講一路陰陰嘴笑…攪到我毛管戙…”
“話唔話我爺爺呢排成日望住我笑得好曖昧…你話兩件事有冇關係??”
“唔會掛?”
[一個鐘後]
“康`0k喇`番去咯`好攰呀…”
“嗯`成個人散哂…”
[二人一路有講有笑`睇黎感情好左w0`唔經唔覺`佢地番到去喇``]
“爺爺!”
“張伯!”
“番黎喇?肚餓未呀`食唔食野呀?”
“食!”
(我地異口同聲咁講`相視而笑)
(康:呢d 叫心有靈犀?)
“黎黎黎`食野啦``”
(康:張伯真好人`)
“張伯`你係唔係有野瞞住我地?”
(爺爺嚇到噴水…)
“冇冇冇…”
(爺爺:斃!咁快比佢地知?)
“哦?”
(呀康拖長尾音…)
“哎呀!冇就冇啦`食野啦``”
(成個下午茶爺爺心不在焉`佢有d 乜瞞住我地?)
ch 2完

好睇既cm下啦...
真係咁差咩...

2008-8-30 03:41 PM Atlantics
有冇攪錯呀...
真係咁差咩...
cm下啦...

2008-8-31 01:55 AM nfs1995415
唔好嬲,,唔好嬲~
我幫你比個cm啦~
好多人都係睇左唔回架啦...
我起初都係好似係咁,,
不過其實我打我都有自己既好處,,
(學習文筆,,劇情鋪排等等...)
所以唔駛咁介懷架~只要知道自己儘左力就得架~
不過其實我都幾憎個d人...

頁: [1]


Powered by Discuz! Archiver 5.5.0  © 2001-2006 Comsenz Inc.